Reflection/I’m back

Wow, it’s been a minute since I posted on here! FYI, my more updated blog is now really my twitter feed: @enriquegrant1 is my handle.

Been working at my new job for about seven weeks now after 6.5 months of unemployment. I’m glad to be working again, but also really tired! It’s not that my job is all that demanding…at least not right now. But before this I had six and a half months to do whatever I wanted. Lots of time to work out, take care of stuff at home, spend time with my wife Michelle: I got used to that. Real used to it. So now I’m working and the tiredness crept up on me. It didn’t occur to me that adding a full time job plus hand surgery for my wife could potentially tire a brother out.

Well…it did.

E

Back and Forth…

Brief life update:

1)  Life on the Westside continues.  I’m still here, still alive, still healing. 

2)  Community is moving.  I feel blessed by my church community, and am taking steps towards serving more here and considering leadership.  I’ve shifted my primary commitment from the evening young adult service to the Spanish speaking service, which is less than two years old and actually started around the same time I moved out here.  Not leading yet, but helping out with sound, checking out their home group, building relationships, etc.  Dios es Bueno…

3)  I’m discovering myself as a salesman.  Six months ago I left the insurance biz and started working as an outside salesman for Blair Graphics.  I’ve had a lot to learn, but love driving around L.A. and the Valley meeting clients and walking thru doors.  Hit me up if you need digital printing!

4)  Thanks to the new job, I picked up a new ride.  I am now driving a 2007 Camry Hybrid (pics to follow later).  I’ll be paying for this vehicular upgrade for a long, long time, but it’s good on the gas and really fun to drive around.

5)  I am attempting to re-connect to the digital networking blogospheric social entity thing…yeah, I’m realizing that a lot of people keep in touch and network online.  It’s not totally my thing, but I’ll give it another go. 

 Be blessed, y’all!

Eric

Twice per season, I blog…

All right, this is not going to be a tremendously involved post. I’ll probably wait until the summer to post anything really serious on here. But I do want to let it be known that…

I’m loving the NBA playoffs right now. The Suns are great to watch, the Lakers lost, and the Golden State Warriors just became the 3rd #8 seed in NBA history to knock off a #1 team. Not only that, but they beat a 67-win team expected to win the title. I’ve never liked the Dallas Mavericks or their marquee player, Dirk “Flopping on Offense” Nowitski. I have no idea why, but for some reason this team irritates me greatly. Seeing them go down to a California underdog was pure sports joy.

My prediction right now is that the Suns and Rockets will meet in the Western Conference Finals, and the Pistons and Cavs will square off in the East. I see both series lasting at least 6 games, with the Suns and the Pistons advancing to the Finals and the Suns eventually prevailing. Of course, anything could happen in the next two months. I might leave permanent grooves in several sofas before this thing is over. Good times.

E

Song In Progress…

I woke up this morning with some frustration from the healing process on my mind.  I was dwelling on the ways I feel hurt and sinned against, and not quite knowing what to do about it.  I exercised, read my bible, prayed, tried to figure it out.  I was in the shower feelin’ real frustrated, when all of a sudden I started singing out of nowhere a song I’ve never heard before:

He is my victory

It’s not by my strength, but through His suffering

I am free to release the pain of my sin

With the power of Jesus within, I can say that

He is my victory

His resurrection overcomes my enemy

I am free to obey all my Father’s commands

In the power of Jesus I stand; I am victorious!

A good friend tells me that whenever he feels tempted by the devil, he just praises and the devil doesn’t want to hang around.  This morning, I know what he’s talking about.  Devil, get gone.

E

Why didn’t I get into this earlier?

Among other things, I’ve been hiking a lot this year. I always enjoyed hiking in the past, but never made it a regular pursuit until this year. Now I’m usually going hiking at least once a week and taking advantage of some beautiful trails with ocean and city views. It’s good stuff.

It’s also been great to hang out more with guys from my church. Here are some pics from hiking in the Santa Monica Mountains a couple weekends ago.  I am not the guy climbing rocks in the last picture.

Good Times.

E

Suffering Song

His Love is overjoyed in Us.

His Love is overjoyed in Us.

His Love is overjoyed in Us.

His Love is overjoyed; His Love is overjoyed.

E

Update 1/31/07

I’ve been living on the Westside for five months now and pursuing personal healing. Life away from the front lines of ministry has been difficult but also restful and good. I’ve spent more time with white folks in their 20s in the last five months then in the previous four years combined! And I am actually enjoying it:-)

As I feel less of a need to be incarnational these days, I’ve put away my normal hip-hop/latin playlist and am treating myself to steady doses of gospel music in my car! I’ve been strongly anti-Christian music a lot in my adult years, but I gotta admit that songs of praise–if they’re well-done–hit me in ways that no other music does. This makes me wonder: how much time have I spent trying to fit in instead of connecting to Jesus? Have I left home for the sake of the gospel, a spiritual kingdom, or just to exchange my old culture for another physical one?

It’s occasion for thought and reflection.

E

Myself

I don’t like myself.

Myself makes life difficult.

Myself is constantly angry.

Myself doesn’t trust others.

Myself needs attention.

Myself gets emotional easily.

Myself lashes out.

Myself is on the defensive.

Myself latches on to women.

Myself thinks nobody understands him.

Myself writes rhymes that no one ever hears, because no one can listen to myself

But me.

Why don’t I listen to myself?

I could ask myself why he is angry, if I took time.

I could put up with myself.

I could try to earn myself’s trust.

I could pay attention to myself if I wanted to. 

I could be the calm empathy to affirm myself’s emotions.

I could love myself, and not mind if myself lashed out or defended himself against me.

I could listen to the rhymes and read the lines that myself writes,

If I had time.

But I’ve been spending time loving other selfs besides myself.

Customers, peers, pastors, roommates,

Churchmates, poor people, salsa dancers,

Even Jesus.

Which is strange.

Because Jesus loves myself.

He told myself so, and myself told me.

So I should pay attention to the mention that myself makes.

I should learn to listen to myself and see

That Jesus loves myself.

And so I’m asking Him to make me like Him

And show me how to love myself.

E

Spontaneous Urbanity

Urban, meaning the presence of people, people presenting powerful arguments for dis-unity.

Urban, meaning the absence of silence, the intertwining of man-made and God created.

Urban, meaning vibrant death, multi-colored mono-programmed minds.

Urban, meaning above suburban, below privilege.

Urban, meaning crowded isolation, souls impeding on each others’ space with their ever-extending solitude.

Urban, meaning words without meaning, expression without thought, thoughts with precious little truth.

Urban.

A space where God will come.

E